Happiness

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My MindMap: Lifestyle for Happiness!

Dad’s View

We can broadly divide our life experiences into six main areas: (1) Family & Social (2) Professional (3) Health (mind & body) (4) Spiritual (5) Financial, and (6) Intellectual. In order for one to be truly happy, he or she must constantly strive to achieve a balance between these six areas of his/her life.

If you neglect even one of these six vital areas of life and are greatly successful in the rest, it will be difficult for you to achieve true lasting happiness. For example, one may be extremely successful financially but if one has poor health (physical or mental) he/she will never achieve lasting happiness. If you are rich and healthy but have a problem keeping harmonious relationships with close family and friends, happiness will evade you forever! Unless we learn to achieve a proper balance between these six areas of life we cannot achieve happiness!

My Mindmap – Lifestyle for Happiness (see above!)

We all seek happiness in life! However, some people seem to demand happiness as if something or someone outside can make them happy. Such people can never know happiness until they break out of the tiny bubble of their self-centered lives! Happiness can never be directly sought, it is the byproduct of healthy activities toward a worthy objective or ideal.

We must have our minds fixed on something other than our own happiness (e.g. a hobby, passion, or a worthy goal) in order to find it. If we seek it directly, happiness will elude us forever like a mirage in a desert.

The happiest people are usually the busiest people, serving others in a meaningful fashion. By losing themselves passionately in their current goals and pursuits, happiness serendipitously seeps into their lives and becomes an inherent part of them.

Most people seem to be looking outside to someone or some “thing” to make them happy which is a great illusion one must strive to shatter. Remember, happiness is an inside job!

John Stuart Mill’s Definition of “Happiness”

“Those only are happy who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness: on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit, followed not as a means but as itself an ideal end. Aiming thus at something else they find happiness by the way.”

– John Stuart Mill (1806-1873) was an influential British philosopher, economist, politician, and senior official in the East India Company.

A Poem by Rabindranath Tagore, Indian Literature Laureate

 “I slept and dreamt the life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was duty. I acted and behold, duty was joy!”

– Rabindranath Tagore, a Literature Laureate dedicated his life to poetry, art, and music, composing the Indian national anthem and the national anthem of Bangladesh

Shivani’s View

Happiness can mean different things to each person. For some, it can mean freedom, dedication, or purpose. Happiness can also be found in the mundane little pockets of joy that we experience daily. Overall, I think happiness is a matter of perspective and intention. It’s a daily choice. Life will undulate on a pendulum but we can intentionally choose to fill our lives with the thoughts, feelings, people, and things that align with our values and purpose. However, there is a bit of self-exploration, reflection, and work that has to be done to get here. Where there is dissonance within ourselves there will only be unhappiness. To me, it is empowering to think of happiness in the context of control.  We can choose to move on, forgive, and fill our lives with who and what we value. We can choose to be happy.

I have kept it quite simple for this blog post. I am sharing a list of a few of my small pockets of joy:

  • Yellow and orange flowers
  • Watermelon on a hot summer day
  • Opening all the windows on a crisp fall day and letting the cold air in
  • Hosting family and friends 
  • The planning and anticipation before a big trip
  • Taking care of my many plants
  • Creating something of my own or a DIY project
  • Traveling
  • Being with people who understand me the most (i.e. my closest family and friends)
  • My mom’s cooking
  • Tomatoes and burrata
  • Reflejos, a magazine I created at University of South Florida
  • Friendly people you meet while traveling
  • Sending and receiving postcards and handwritten cards
  • Sunrises in Miami with my college friends
  • Charcuterie for dinner
  • People who make you feel special
  • Neighborhood walks
  • Spending time and traveling with Ronak
  • The warm feeling and joy at my wedding
  • Good driving music
  • A quiet early morning with coffee and good reading
  • Romanticizing life

Happiness

Happiness

Solitude

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Dad’s View

Hurricane Zeta made landfall at the coast of Louisiana, on Wednesday October 28, 2020 afternoon as a Category-2 hurricane. Later that evening as it moved inland, the eye of hurricane passed directly over us with the wind gust of more than 100 miles per hour. We lost power, internet, and the phone service all at once on that night. It was pitch dark and a silent night. We were instantly unplugged from our hectic, wired lives and from the world. The power came back on for us after two days, and the internet, Wi-Fi, and phone services were restored 6-days later.

The experience of suddenly getting completely disconnected from the world in today’s modern life was quite refreshing, rejuvenating, and felt like a blessing. Reflecting on this experience reaffirmed my belief about the importance of seeking occasional opportunities of solitude to unwind, reflect on priorities, and contemplate about the ‘big picture.’ Only during such isolated alone time, does one realize what heavy toll our modern lives filled with multi-tasking take on our minds and bodies. Today most of us are consumed into multiple online social media platforms, on demand movie channels, 24/7 news cycles, e-mail, texts, podcasts, streaming services, and emerging new cloud platforms. Today, fewer people seem to socialize in person, visit a library, read books or newspapers.

I wonder in today’s busy life, how can one find time to relax, re-energize, focus, meditate, or think creatively. I believe one can conceive and develop something original only in a state of solitude.

In our society solitude is often misunderstood as loneliness. People may not admit it, but most of us are afraid of being lonely. Have you ever noticed if you are walking alone down a dark, sketchy alley that you start whistling or singing. Subconsciously we do this to believe we are not alone. Solitude is not loneliness; it is aloneness which is quite essential for us to connect with our own inner self. The state of solitude is a vital first step in our great inwardly journey which eventually can help us unlock many mysteries of life and universe. It can be achieved only if we dare to disconnect from our highly fragmented and unfocused 24/7 outwardly connected modern lives. By frequently retreating from our busy lives and submerging ourselves into solitude and meditation, we can embark on an exhilarating  journey inwards, and learn to connect to the ‘one’ that is the most precious. Only in the state of solitude we can experience true joy, peace, and beauty of aloneness. I believe, just like a doctor prescribing medicine to her patients, solitude should be prescribed to lead us towards meditation, peace, and joy. In the state of solitude, we can achieve a perfect  harmony with existence and eventually learn to transcend the ‘duality’ of life! If we stop and contemplate,we will realize, we are paying a very high price for our modern connected lifestyle! The key is to live deep not fast!

Shivani’s View

“Being alone is a power only a few can handle.” I was surprised to see this displayed across a local laundromat’s billboard recently. It was written there so unembellished and unadorned and could’ve been easily missed. I was struck by the simplicity of this short statement yet how profound and true it is. 

These days it is very difficult to be completely alone. I feel like I am constantly being bombarded with notifications and pings throughout the day from social media, texts and the ever connected world which we live in. As we know there are numerous benefits to this progress and technology especially in the setting of this pandemic. At the same time we should think, to what end and what cost. 

Solitude is essential. For me it is a time to re-energize, center and introspect. It is when I am able to do my best thinking, unjudged and uninhibited. Daily my mind is spread thin thinking about my work, family, friends, and worrying about the state of our world, and I cherish my time alone to step away from the noise. I find that my creativity blossoms most in my periods of solitude and quiet. As I have begun to embrace these solitary periods, I think I have become more comfortable and confident in my own skin. There is no way to run from your own thoughts. With “solitude,” another word comes to mind, which is Wellness. It’s empowering to intentionally care for yourself and your wellness. Nourishing our minds and souls, should be no different from nourishing our bodies with three square meals a day. They are both essential. I have come to realize the importance of this as I have progressed in residency. There is no way to keep giving, inspiring, motivating others and myself at a high level without taking a step back. The moments I have alone to escape from it all end up feeling meditative and re-energizing. 

I particularly think this is more relevant than ever in our time of social distancing. If done correctly, I think this time could be also remembered for self reflection, creativity and new beginnings. Let’s harness this secret ammunition we all have and become better versions of ourselves by the end of this thing. Lets plan, create, motivate, think, read, nourish and take these lemons we have been dealt and make lemonade. There is much loss, but also much to be gained by this period in time. 

Our Memorable Road Trip Exploring Arizona!

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Dad’s View

During our father-daughter trip through Arizona last November we watched a magnificent sunset in Sedona, then on the following evening a beautiful moonrise on the distant horizon on a full moon night, followed by a desert sunrise both beyond the red rock mesas and buttes from the porch of our log cabin in Monument Valley, AZ. This was truly an unforgettable experience!

When Shivani and I were sipping hot chocolate on the porch after dinner, enjoying the outdoor experience on a cold dark November evening in Arizona desert; suddenly we noticed a small but bright orange glow at a far distance. First, we thought it was probably a fire, but quickly realized this could not be the case when the glow started growing larger. In a few minutes we were shocked to realize that we were witnessing a perfect full moonrise on the distant horizon. Watching this on a full moon night, beyond the solid red rock mesas and buttes which stood between us and the horizon was an extraordinary experience!

Next morning, we woke up early to enjoy sunrise from the same porch. The fading moon was still in the sky as it was about to set just before the sunrise. This was again a magical experience to watch an amazing sunrise at the crack of dawn while the moon was still in the sky just before vanishing. We will never forget the extraordinary experience of witnessing an amazing full moonrise on a beautiful autumnal night followed by a perfect sunrise in the desert, both within a span of 12-hours!

While reflecting on this experience it dawned on me, life is full of duality: night is followed by day, birth is followed by death, and so on. I also realized one cannot exist without the other in the eternal cycles of life and time. The dark background of night is required to appreciate the bright moon and the stars. The white background of a page is necessary to read the text written on it. I think the charm and excitement in life would be lost if it were eternal! While enjoying nature during our journey through the desert I thought, despite seeming duality in life, maybe everything in the existence is after all connected at some deeper level. Maybe everything in nature is an integral part of the whole one existence! I believe this is something to contemplate to appreciate the mystery and magic of the universe. We have emerged from nature and eventually we all will fade back into it. Immersing ourselves more and more into nature during our brief journey on this planet, may help us unlock some of its mysteries and transcend the duality of life!

Shivani’s View

What better way to start a father daughter blog than a post about a father daughter trip! In pre-Covid November, my dad and I took a road trip through Arizona. We made our way from Phoenix to Monuments Valley and back in 5 days. It was a trip of a lifetime.

What is a trip of a lifetime? I think it is very subjective. For me, these are trips that when you think back on them, give you a sense of nostalgia, wonder, and happiness. They also mark a significance in your life. I have been fortunate to experience this a few times. One of these experiences was our road trip through AZ.

AZ on its own is a special place. Sedona is sacred with its awe-inspiring bright red rock formations and vortexes. Page, AZ is inconspicuous, but its landmarks are unique and out of this world. Monuments Valley takes your breath away and brings it back to you at the same time. Imagine these experiences along with countless hours laughing about crazy waiters, jamming out to Michael Jackson, and discussing life with a best friend. This was the trip my dad and I took.

As you can imagine, this trip was so special because it was just my dad and me. It meant so much that we could share this unique time together despite our busy schedules. We had an amazing time exploring these areas and just enjoying each other’s company. For me it was an amazing week of fun and excitement, while feeling safe and secure after living away from home for over a year. It was also like spending time and catching up with your close friend. We had a blast! It will be a cherished memory forever. It was a trip of a lifetime!

Hello World!

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Welcome to our father-daughter blog, “My Blue Your Green (MBYG).” My dad and I created this blog to highlight and share our unique generational and diverse perspectives on a variety of interesting areas of life. We each have unique experiences, backgrounds, and influences to share which we believe will inspire interesting discussions.

The spring of 2020 has turned out to be an unprecedented time in human history. Although the unexpected COVID-19 health crisis has brought on suffering, isolation, and sadness around the globe, a lot of positive has also risen out of this time. Friends and families are reconnecting over video chats, and people are picking-up old and newfound hobbies. Some of us have also taken this time to introspect and reflect on our lives, relationships, achievements, purpose, careers, and even spirituality.

In our case, my dad and I have taken this time to finally take a plunge and put into action our father-daughter blog, “My Blue Your Green (MBYG).“ We talked about creating this blog for a long time, but never got around to it. Finally, we are putting pen to paper and giving it a go!

You may wonder why we chose the title, My Blue Your Green (MBYG). Everyone has their own unique perception about their human experience. Take for instance, I look at an object which I see it as “blue”. When Shivani sees the same object, obviously she identifies it as “blue” as well. I always wondered, what is the guarantee that her mind is actually processing the color of the object in the same way as my mind does? It is entirely plausible that she may be seeing the same object in her mind in a color which may actually be “green” or “red” for me in my mind. However, since we both have been taught to call that color “blue,” we both instantly identify that object as “blue.” Because of the human mind’s this tendency of varied perception, we felt it will be interesting to share our unique father-daughter perspective on life experiences through this blog MBYG.

This in essence is probably the theory of relativity of the human mind. This is the principle that guides our blog. We hope you will enjoy MBYG and come along for an exciting journey. Cheers!